I have not been able to keep this site updated. Just never seems to be enough time. I am writing now because I can not sleep. Today I had a migraine headache. I had been drinking Mountain Dew because it helps me to stay awake. But it has its side effects. If I drink too much then I can not get to sleep when I do get home.
Today is the day I normally take off and not go to my parents house. I have been trying to go to church and spend the day with my family on Sundays. But today I woke up with a migraine and no matter what I did it would not go away. I finally figured out I had not drank a Mountain Dew today so I was most likely having caffeine withdrawals. Sadly I had to drink one just to get rid of the headache. Thus now I can not sleep. It is a vicious cycle. :(
I missed going to church today too.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Thank you Pastor Hagin and DayStar!
I am limiting myself to one Mountain Dew tonight. After not being able to get to sleep this morning I am wore slick now. Afraid 5:00 am won't get here soon enough for me tonight.
I took Sunday off (meaning my brother pulled a day by himself) with the intention of spending it with my family and possibly going to church. I was so tired I couldn't make it to church myself. I was glad that the service was broadcasted on DayStar though so I got to see it. Pastor Hagin preached a good sermon. Got me to thinking about my situation. He said we have to stir up our faith. We have to use our mouth to get our faith to work otherwise we will never get anywhere.
I have been running on fumes for a long time now. Satan will use every device to get us unfocused and exhausted.
I am proclaiming that God cares about the situation I am in. It is not his purpose to see me barely coping but to be victorious. My Dad is going to regain full recovery from his stoke and the dementia is going to reverse its effects on my Mother. I claim this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!!!
I took Sunday off (meaning my brother pulled a day by himself) with the intention of spending it with my family and possibly going to church. I was so tired I couldn't make it to church myself. I was glad that the service was broadcasted on DayStar though so I got to see it. Pastor Hagin preached a good sermon. Got me to thinking about my situation. He said we have to stir up our faith. We have to use our mouth to get our faith to work otherwise we will never get anywhere.
I have been running on fumes for a long time now. Satan will use every device to get us unfocused and exhausted.
I am proclaiming that God cares about the situation I am in. It is not his purpose to see me barely coping but to be victorious. My Dad is going to regain full recovery from his stoke and the dementia is going to reverse its effects on my Mother. I claim this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
How great God is...
The other night when I was at my parents house I had a traumatic evening. When I got to my parents house my brother ended up leaving when I got there. He said he would be gone for a couple of hours but ended up coming home about 2:00 am and he had been drinking. I wish he would not drink but he is a grown man.
During this night my Dad had told me he did not pay his lot fee so they were charging him a late fee and then later he remembered his and Mom's life insurance had not been paid either. I have a hard time remembering what needs to be paid in my house let alone keeping track of someone else too. So I was a little stressed.
What was traumatic for me was there are certain things I can not do for my Mom by myself. And as it turned out I had to wake my brother up and I could not get him to wake up due to the drinking. Even shaking him I could not get him to wake up. So I tried my best to do what needed to be done by myself. Then my Dad needed assistance when I was trying to do this too. I was in tears. I cried God you have to help me. By the time it was all over I wanted to just cry. I prayed that by 6:00 when I was going to try again to wake my brother up before I was going to try and go home that he would be sober. I could not leave if he was not. Then at 5:55 am my brother walked out of his room without me waking him up and he was sober. I knew God heard my cry and he sobered up my brother.
I realized during all this my physical limitations and I had reached a breaking point. God will not allow us to be pushed beyond what we can bear.
During this night my Dad had told me he did not pay his lot fee so they were charging him a late fee and then later he remembered his and Mom's life insurance had not been paid either. I have a hard time remembering what needs to be paid in my house let alone keeping track of someone else too. So I was a little stressed.
What was traumatic for me was there are certain things I can not do for my Mom by myself. And as it turned out I had to wake my brother up and I could not get him to wake up due to the drinking. Even shaking him I could not get him to wake up. So I tried my best to do what needed to be done by myself. Then my Dad needed assistance when I was trying to do this too. I was in tears. I cried God you have to help me. By the time it was all over I wanted to just cry. I prayed that by 6:00 when I was going to try again to wake my brother up before I was going to try and go home that he would be sober. I could not leave if he was not. Then at 5:55 am my brother walked out of his room without me waking him up and he was sober. I knew God heard my cry and he sobered up my brother.
I realized during all this my physical limitations and I had reached a breaking point. God will not allow us to be pushed beyond what we can bear.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
For when I am weak...he is strong.
God you have to help me... I am breaking. That is all I can say but you know father. You said to lean on you for strength and I am counting on you to pull me from the storm I face tonight. Amen.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Coffee... please!
I am sitting here at my parents house trying to stay awake. My daughters have even crashed. I am writing on this blog to keep my mind awake.
Today was a really hard day. After I went home this morning I had to double back by noon to take my Dad to the doctor. So I am running on very little sleep today. The doctor said nothing we did not already know. He told my Dad to keep working and not give up. Dad has been having pain in his shoulder and back which is due to the way he carries himself after the stroke. His muscles are trying to work to help hold up the left side. He said it is hard but that is the only way he is going to get things back. Getting Dad in the truck by myself was hard. I like to never got him in the truck without lifting him which I could not do and I am feeling it tonight. After dropping him off I got back home by almost 4 and then it was getting Kens lunch fixed, Kendra to art class by 5:00. Then I was off to pick up more safety equipment for Dad's bathroom... Pick up Kendra at Art class by 8 and then off with the girls to Mom and Dads to pull my shift with my parents so my brother can get some sleep. On the way here I realized I have to get up early tomorrow because Kari has an follow up visit with the orthodontist. God give me strength for the rest of tonight and then for what comes tomorrow. I know he will!
Today was a really hard day. After I went home this morning I had to double back by noon to take my Dad to the doctor. So I am running on very little sleep today. The doctor said nothing we did not already know. He told my Dad to keep working and not give up. Dad has been having pain in his shoulder and back which is due to the way he carries himself after the stroke. His muscles are trying to work to help hold up the left side. He said it is hard but that is the only way he is going to get things back. Getting Dad in the truck by myself was hard. I like to never got him in the truck without lifting him which I could not do and I am feeling it tonight. After dropping him off I got back home by almost 4 and then it was getting Kens lunch fixed, Kendra to art class by 5:00. Then I was off to pick up more safety equipment for Dad's bathroom... Pick up Kendra at Art class by 8 and then off with the girls to Mom and Dads to pull my shift with my parents so my brother can get some sleep. On the way here I realized I have to get up early tomorrow because Kari has an follow up visit with the orthodontist. God give me strength for the rest of tonight and then for what comes tomorrow. I know he will!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Medical Equipment
I am at my parents house... it is almost 3:00 am.
I am listening to Daystar "Creation Scapes" It is beautiful scenery with religious songs playing. My Mom seems to rest when it is on. It is very soothing and peaceful. Maybe that is why.
I have been ordering online medical equipment that my Dad is going to need. Some I have ordered to come directly to the house one I ordered to be delivered to our Walmart and I will pick it up when it comes in. I have been trying to find things locally but somethings can only be ordered online.
Tuesday I take Dad to his PCP. So when I go home tomorrow morning I will have to be back here at noon to take him. Later today they are suppose to send someone out to the house to do therapy with him.
I am listening to Daystar "Creation Scapes" It is beautiful scenery with religious songs playing. My Mom seems to rest when it is on. It is very soothing and peaceful. Maybe that is why.
I have been ordering online medical equipment that my Dad is going to need. Some I have ordered to come directly to the house one I ordered to be delivered to our Walmart and I will pick it up when it comes in. I have been trying to find things locally but somethings can only be ordered online.
Tuesday I take Dad to his PCP. So when I go home tomorrow morning I will have to be back here at noon to take him. Later today they are suppose to send someone out to the house to do therapy with him.
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