August 30, 2010 Reflections

I have not kept up this site due to so much going on on a daily basis that is overwhelming for me sometimes. I have a tendency to hold things in and then when I can talk about them their is too much information and I do not know where to begin. However I do think that I need to off load this regularly because it will be a testimony to what God is doing in my life and my parents. This is one of satan's tricks to cause disparity and not give God credit. We give to much authority to satan without realizing it and then he thinks he has the upper hand with us. But we have to remember we have the VICTORY and the battle is already won through Jesus Christ.

Yesterday began with me taking our youngest to the bus drop off for Tech. When my day should be normally going to bed at this time. After coming home and laying down for about an hour my Dad called me and told me that Mom had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital around 9:00 am . I am in a whirlwind of things to do now. When Mom goes to the hospital this means that I am the only one who can go be with her since my Dad is not able to drive or get around completely since his stroke in December of last year. After I pick up Kari at school and bring her home I am off to the hospital.

The reason Mom is going to the hospital is because the pin rose drain that is was on her stomach that has been closed up for the last few years has opened up again. (only way to say this to help you understand is... now her bowels are also coming out of her stomach...sorry that this is too much information, but the only way to make you understand the severity of the situation if you are not medically informed is to tell you in layman's terms.)
We feel this has opened because since her last hospital stay a few weeks ago the doctor sent her home with a new medicine called Cytra 2, which is to replace the acidity in her stomach that she loses. We feel this has caused complications. So not only is she dealing with this she is also recovering from a bedsore wound from a previous hospital stay that has left her with a open wound on her back to deal with. We had a wound vac on this to help it heal but in the last 3 weeks home health care took away because it was not progressing at the rate they felt to warrant it to pay for it. Not sure I understand that one. She still has a hole in her back so... you take away the thing that could help it but because it is not healing at the rate they want they take it away? So what do you do with it now?

Since my Dad's stoke in December my brother Rick has been the primary care taker for both my Mom and Dad since he lives there and does not work. I know this is difficult for my brother and I do what I can. On a fixed income my Dad can not afford to have a medical nurse to help. They are too expensive and to get medical assistance they want you to sign everything over to the government (title to your house, vehicles etc...) and then they might help.
Some people say you should just let your Mom go. I do not understand this. What is the alternative? Pull the plug on her ventilator? She breathes on her own. The vent is to assist. That reminds me of the one where the person just stop the feeding on one person and they actually starved to death. How humane is that? Sure we could put my Mom in a home but that is not an option for us. The cruelty of that is mind boggling. When it is her time to go God will be the one to decide that not me, you, a doctor or another family member. Sometimes this is a way to relieve their conscience so they do not have to help and can be out of site out of mind. I could not live with myself if I did that. Where has family loyalty gone? We are living in the end times. The bible tells us that the natural affection will be gone and how else can you explain it. This is satan's ruling domain. Sickness and death is domain.

I do not know why we must go through what we are going through now. I know there is a reason and we may not understand it now. I know my Mom has had so much put on her body with sickness. I know we are not suppose to hate but I think my hating satan does not fall under the same category. I have never wanted to punch someone in the face like I do him. But I remember... he has already lost because Jesus already beat him and we have power over him in Jesus name. So I command him to flee in Jesus name.

By around 6:00 pm my Mom was out of the ER and in ICU for observation. I have learned early on when you go to the ER this is never short of 9 hours on any given time.

Since this was our daughter's 16th birthday I left and we took her out to eat at the place of her choice. We took her to Ted's. After dinner the waiters and waitresses put a pink sombrero on her head and sang Happy Birthday to her. Priceless!