I can not sleep tonight.  When I lay my head down all it all rushes in on me.

I had made my Mom a religious CD to play non stop in her room. This music was played non stop 24/7.   I had a copy of it too and when I would drive daily to visit her I would play one song over and over again.  I think if you looked at the bottom of the CD you would find it had grooves in it from playing it over over so many times.  That song was Glorious Day by Casting Crowns.  When I would hear that song sometimes I would cry out to God for that glorious day to take me away from all the pain. I think it is human to wonder why something has to be the way it is.  My Mom was in this condition for the last 5 years and you can't help but ask why it was so long and was she in pain and suffering.  I do not know the answers to all these questions but I know God knows and there must be a reason for everything.  An answer I may never know until I get to heaven.    Maybe it was to prepare me for her to go home.  I hope it was not for that reason.  I did not want to let go or give up. But it had reached a point till I could not bear to see my Mom go through any more. I was the one who seen her everyday... I loved her and wanted mercy for her. That morning on April 24th when they called me that they had called EMSA and on my drive there that was my prayer for her that if she was not to be healed to have mercy and do whatever was best for her. I had not grown tired or given up but Mom was tired.